Dare County has been included in District 10 by the organizers of the First Annual Hungry Games, a placement that has confounded local leaders and prompted protests in downtown Manteo. District 10 stretches north from the Outer Banks and includes the Hampton Roads area communities, Petersburg and Richmond.
Dare County Commissioner Rooster Crowcall stated, “Being lumped in with a large population of city-dwellers puts us at a tremendous disadvantage. We were really hoping to be in District 9 with Hyde, Tyrell and Beaufort. Them boys can hunt, fish and make a crossbow out of two sticks and a scrunchie. They know how to survive.”
Nags Head town manager Cliff Oddturn agreed, stating that it was unlikely that District 10 would ever see extra food rations, let alone luxury items granted to the winner of the Hungry Games. He said that the burden of fielding tributes for the Games would likely fall on Outer Banks residents for the foreseeable future, noting that at the very least skills like fishing and hang-gliding could have some tangential benefits for competitors. He did not see the “soft-handed office types” that make up the majority of the population in the urban areas of District 10 being able to field decent participants for the Games.
But the ever-optimistic District 10 representative Beffie Troswell stated she believed the odds to be in District 10’s favor.
“We have over forty-six Crossfit gyms in District 10. That’s 100% more than in all of District 9 put together! Crossfit warriors are in superb shape: anyone who can do the McCluskey or a Filthy Fifty should be able to handle a broadsword, right? Besides, those icky illegal aliens live in District 9. Who wants to be teammates with a bug-man-thing?”
The inaugural Hungry Games will be held on April 1st, 2017 at AT&T stadium in Arlington, Texas.
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